This year was quite interesting for me. And intense too. A lot of things happened – most of them invisible to others. The people who know me better noticed some changes.
What made this year different was that it was about making decisions. I found out that making a decision is something that actually works for me. There is a big difference between just wanting something, craving for it, and to decide to go after it. Or to decide to let it pass.
It started with the decision to not compete in any sports this year and to slow down. I wanted to get in touch with myself again. I wanted to make space for myself, feel myself better and see where I am right now. What parts of me I want to keep, what I want to develop, and what I want to let go. It turned out this was a very good decision. I reduced a lot of external input and could look at myself from different sides. This helped me see my needs more clearly and some new wishes came up.
While doing this I noticed many things in my everyday life that need adjustment. Sometimes it is the small things that make a big difference. A good example is the table in my kitchen. It was an old table, good and functional. 75cm x 75cm and 73cm high, with two standard chairs. It stood in my kitchen for years. I almost never used the kitchen as a place to stay – I only prepared food there and then ate in the living room, and cleaned the dishes.
I realised it was the table. First the size, but also the memories connected to it. Now I have a different one: 60cm x 80cm and 104cm high, with two bar stools. It is awesome and I really love it!
Small thing? Maybe… but no! Since I have it, I eat my meals in the kitchen. Every morning I sit down there and write my morning pages. Morning pages are kinda new in my life. I tried them before but never stuck to it. Now I am doing it for almost three weeks and I like the effect it has on me. I also just sit there sometimes and take a little pause from everything – especially from all the digital things in my life.
This was only one small example. Many other things happened this year because I made some decisions. I will not list them all here. What I want to say is that this is the reason why I was so quiet for so long on this blog. Right now I am changing a lot in my life. Taking more distance from digital life and reducing screen time is part of it. To reorganise everything I simply need a lot of space at the moment, and I enjoy this journey very much.
Maybe I will write about some of the upcoming changes soon. Maybe I will need more time